I asked her if there was going to be cake, and she was like, ‘yeah’. And then I was like, ‘is it a big cake?’, and she was like, ‘sure’. So I went to the dance ‘cause I thought I was getting cake, BUT THE CAKE IS A LIE.
last year i was eating in a fancy, large restaurant when i began to hear a rumble and the distant sound of people chanting ‘potassium, potassium’ and suddenly hundreds of people dressed as bananas flood this restaurant chanting potassium over and over and we were trapped there for a very long time because the bananas would not leave and they were everywhere
i wasn’t joking